Navigating Grief and the upcoming holidays.
Grief & Holiday Season…
The holidays are often painted as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But if you’re grieving, this season can magnify feelings of loss, loneliness, or even guilt for not feeling the way you’re "supposed to." Whether you’re mourning the loss of a loved one like a family member or pet, the end of a relationship or a childhood friendship, or any other big life change, the holidays can feel especially overwhelming or heavy when everyone around you seems to be celebrating.
Why the Holidays Can Feel So Hard…
For many of us, the holidays are packed with traditions, routines, and memories — often tied to people who may no longer be here. It’s normal to feel like there’s a gap or emptiness, like something is missing, and sometimes the pressure to “be happy” can make grief feel even heavier. Research in the Journal of Bereavement Care highlights that the disconnect between society’s cheeriness and your internal reality can leave you feeling even more alone (Kumar, 2020).
On top of that, grief doesn’t operate on a timeline. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a psychologist who specializes in grief, reminds us that you can’t just "fix" grief — it’s something you need to feel, process, and honor, as challenging as that is.
Ways to Support Yourself During the Holidays:
Here are some practical ways to show yourself compassion and care during this time:
Give Yourself Permission to Feel: Grief isn’t linear, and your emotions might be all over the place. You might feel sadness, anger, relief, or even fleeting moments of joy—and that’s okay. Let yourself feel it without judgment.
Adjust or Create Traditions : If certain traditions feel too painful, give yourself permission to change them. You can light a candle in their memory, share stories about them, or create a new ritual that feels right for you.
Set Boundaries : It’s okay to say no. If you’re not up for attending every holiday event, honor that. Protecting your energy is not selfish—it’s necessary.
Lean on Your People: Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to carry it alone. Reach out to close and supportive friends, family, or a grief group. Sometimes, saying how you feel out loud can lighten the emotional load just a bit.
Honor Your Loved One Finding ways to include someone you’re missing can bring comfort. Whether it’s cooking their favorite dish, playing their favorite song, or donating to a cause they loved, small actions can help keep their memory alive.
Be Gentle With Yourself…
There’s no “right” way to grieve, and healing doesn’t happen overnight. If this season feels hard, that’s okay. Grief can come in waves—sometimes gentle, sometimes overwhelming—and all you can do is take it one moment at a time.
If you’re struggling, give yourself permission to step back, breathe, and prioritize your own healing. Whether it’s through therapy, leaning on loved ones, or simply finding small ways to honor your feelings, you are not alone.
References:
Kumar, R. (2020). The holidays and grief: Navigating loss during celebrations. Journal of Bereavement Care.
Mayo Clinic (2022). Grief and loss: Strategies for coping during the holidays. Retrieved from mayoclinic.org
Wolfelt, A. (2018). Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart.